My father-in-law has been diagnosed with early stage Dementia, which has been brought on by difficult to manage diabetes. As a result of this, his driver's licence has been restricted to a 2km radius, and he has been told that he will need to be reassessed in 6 months time. He undestandably feels angry that he has lost his independence, and is blaming his wife for arranging the testing that lead to being diagnosed, as well as the driving testing and restriction. Any ideas with how to help them both would be greatly appreciated.

Welcome to the forums and thanks for your post. This is a common challenge for carers and unfortunately the main carer can often be seen as the 'bad guy' if they have taken measures to ensure the safety of the person with dementia.

The loss of independence that comes with giving up driving is always a difficult subject and each person with dementia reacts differently. Some agree and relinquish driving easily, while others put up a fight as they do not want to lose this last piece of independence.

Your father-in-law is obviously quite distressed so it is important to approach this subject in a way that will maintain his self-esteem and sense of worth. Perhaps you could have an open discussion with his partner and himself to explore his feelings and frustrations at this new situation.

Be honest and have a good talk to him about the risks and your concerns and be open for him to express his frustration. Losing your independance can be a disempowering experience so it may be a good idea for him to realise his remaining abilities and ways he can contribute everyday.

Perhaps he could take on the role of navigator on future car trips to make him feel that he has a meaningful role when driving. Be creative to find new ideas to a solution that may address his umnet needs.

The best support you can give his wife is to provide a back up and also give her someone to speak too about her own frustrations. Hopefully she understands that he is lashing out in frustration and fear and she needs to feel supported in the decision to limit his driving.

We are looking at doing a thorough article exploring the specific issue of driving and loss of independance so I will be sure to post the links to this as soon as it is available. Also I welcome feedback from other members who have tackled this complex issue.